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Certainties... 2009 Taxes or Death ... Hmmm... |
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Dear Client, Now this “Tax Stuff” may have you feelin like you’re rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic…
…but I’m here to make the process nice and easy for ya! Growing old beats the alternative… At this time of the year I am so glad there is 24 hrs in
the day...and then of course there is the nit!
Wealth is not about what you make… …and I’m here to make sure you keep mo! But I need to be very careful, so I spend my most precious resource, my time, in helping the “good” people. You know the type I mean. The one’s who know what integrity is and make it part of who they are. A person such as yourself that needs; appreciates; flourishes; and is better off for having walked into my office. As you know, my office is an experience all on its own! ☺ So it is extremely important not only to deal with the “best” clients, but also to filter out the “not so best”. You know them…the unhappy pessimistic bunch, the bully gang, the world owes me types, the life’s not fair crowd, the something for nothing branch, the I’m right and the rest of the world is nuts philosophers, the low self-esteem class, the universe of lack vs infinite plenty set, the put people down to make themselves feel better gagglers, the ones “gaming” the system who think those that work hard and help others are “suckers” group. If you think about it, the only person they are hurting, is themselves. It’s like: “Drinking poison & waiting for the OTHER person to die.”
That said…it is EXACTLY why…
…my practice is strictly referrals only…
I believe that “birds of a feather flock together”.
I’m thinking they need some serious de-ignorizing…
So YOU hold the ultimate power over who gets to see me and who does
not. My Tax philosophy is simple…“Pigs get fat …Hogs get slaughtered” But, you have to know when you need to be aggressive and take what
is rightfully yours. “You should only deal with the cheque writers and decision makers”
I prepare ALL the returns personally. Not
review each one but prepare each
one!
So you get a “Registered” letter from the “Tax Man”… …and as you peek inside …even before you catch
a glimpse of your SIN# … the word “AUDIT” makes You cannot cash tax refund cheques…from Jail!
When your heart stops racing and you stop hyperventilating, clarity
takes over. “When all else fails… I don’t!” “Came for the 20 yrs of Tax experience … If you’re gonna be a member of this club and step into my office, you bettah… Elevate your expectations…cause the best is yet to come! This is not about punchin in numbers on a tax return… this is about:
When it comes to protecting your money…
Getting or refinancing a mortgage? REAL Vikings… don’t leave any flesh on the bones!
My Newsletter which is published on my own relaxed, free-floating
schedule (44 and counting to date) www.pigs-get-fat.com“Almost everything that limits personal income is manufactured internally.” MY FEE unlike hookers and lawyers who get money upfront…IS due when you sign your return…but G-d help you if Joanne has to chase you down like a mangy dog cause you forgot your money on signing day… …thanks evah so much!
When the “Tax Man” cometh a callin … …you want to avoid sweatin like a hooker in a basement tenement with an impotent old geezer…so...
For a stress free tax time
get me your tax stuff in
Feb or early March! Like our great Canadian Olympic Athletes ..ya wanna be “Owning that Tax Podium”! If I have prepared your return in the past, you have the option of getting all your information together and just dropping it off at my office without worrying about booking an appointment.
This is not an option for new clients!
New clients and those that need
to see me, must
book an appointment! You should first try and book
by E mail. Just suggest 3 or 4 convenient times and dates
and I will get back to you within 24 hours with a confirmation. You can also book your appointment by calling my executive assistant Joanne at Ext – 29 If you are required to make a tax appointment they will start the last week of February. Coppers Very important that you complete the Copper
Worksheet with paid
duty & court
appearance
Put your business card in the tax package you’re dropping off
for the 2009 Copper Draw… Everything you want and nothing you don’t! Other “Stuff” to drop off
Notice of Assessment – from your 2008 return and if
you are a new client, please bring a working copy Self-employed income – Go to my web site and printout the S2125 and complete as much as possible.
DO NOT send me your auto repair bills; gas receipts; court cards,
laundry receipts, 26 Tim Horton slips;
’Happy Ending 2 dollah’ massage chits or other expenses
you think are deductible. Other “Stuff’s” to include - RRSP contributions,
childcare expenses (signed receipts with SIN # from
your caregivers), donations, medical expenses, tuition T2202A and
charitable donations.
“First things first…
When your return is completed and checked, my executive assistant,
Joanne will call you to book your very own signing appointment.
I’m warning you now, she is “hardcore ”!
She has to first, get a hold of you and then schedule many hundreds
of appointments in less then 60 days. So unless the Black
Plague or in rare circumstances Malaria has hit your entire
family, you're not gonna want to call her & change
your appointment! Now, she understands that sometimes ‘sh-t’ happens.
Again…If you need to get in touch with me during tax time use E mail or call Joanne XT-29
Let’s
talk,…just you and me … one on one… for a moment…K?
And after all, your just gonna have to pay tax on it when you take
it out down the road. So maybe you ‘should’ just put the money toward your mortgage. OK … for what it’s worth, my thoughts on the above.
Firstly, there are 2 distinct actions going on here.
“Investing is something we do all day everyday
If your investor is making a fortune on commissions and trailer
fees… who cares as long as your pool of But if it aint, you need to take that ‘financial advisor’ and put his feet to the fire! “The market is there to serve you…not instruct you” As Warren Buffet said:
“I try to buy stock in businesses that are so wonderful
that an idiot can run them…
As far as #1… the contribution is concerned, the “Tax
Man” is
gonna give you back 30, 40 or 50% of “If you’re not focusing, you’re playing small”
You want to pay off your mortgage instead? And if you pay off your home 5 years earlier, how is that gonna change your lifestyle?
“Truth is like the sun, U can shut it out for a little while…
So you have to pay tax on that money when you retire in 20 years.
Could you possibly be making less at retirement so the taxes are
actually lower? Personally I think this is a no brainer!
Why is the “Tax Man” given us this big break, as the money
is for OUR retirement?
when the “Tax Man” offers you free money… Nothing
changes…on New Years Day… Have you heard of the Home Renovation Expense? Like Halloo?! OMG how many commercials have been made on this one tax benefit? About a Gazillion million I think was the last count!
WELL. you will be happy to know there are 2 other “home related” tax
changes which you may not be as
If you are a first time home buyer, make sure you get “schooled” on
HOW NOT to purchase real estate. 1. Home Renovation Expense – You
DO NOT send in your receipts. Let
me repeat to be a) date on sales slip or contractEligible expenses are those incurred after January 27, 2009 and before February 1, 2010 for work performed or goods acquired in respect of an eligible dwelling. Ie. Generally your personal residence NOT a rental unit. Can be claimed by either spouse but only one credit per family unit. The maximum amount claimable is $10,000 and the first $1000 doesn’t count. It is a credit, so if you max out you will have an extra $1,350 in your jeans. Happy Birthday to you!
2. Home Buyer’s Amount – Not
so many commercials
on this one eh? You be wondering ‘what is
3. Home Buyer’s Plan (HBP ) – OK
so this is not new your saying but … the maximum you can
“It’s not what you are, that holds you back,
4. Increase in Personal Credits – You
will notice that the last
three ‘2009 Tax Changes’ started with Well thar ya go … the ‘not too big’ but ‘not
to be missed’ tax changes for 2009. End of Tax Season Party On Friday April 30th 2010 we will again have our host of characters at the same new and improved location:
Montecassino Hotel – Salon DE… located
That is on the west side opposite Mayfair.. The fun will begin
at 9:00 AM and go till 8:00 PM. Did I mention the sweetest four letter word to the ears of any self respecting copper … FREE!!!!
I look forward to seeing you all soon…in the meantime, be
positive,
be excited, be
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