Certainties... 2009 Taxes or Death ... Hmmm...

Dear Client,
Honestly, I think there really IS a leak in the Universe’s time tunnel!
Doesn’t it seem like you just got one of these letters last month?!

Now this “Tax Stuff” may have you feelin like you’re

rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic…

…but I’m here to make the process nice and easy for ya!
After all, I AM in the “Happiness” business ya know!

Growing old beats the alternative…
dying young!

At this time of the year I am so glad there is 24 hrs in the day...and then of course there is the nit!
With only 2 certainties in life, I’m hopin you, like me, are leanin toward the tax option here.
If so, this ‘Tax Letter’ was written for you!

Wealth is not about what you make…
It’s about what you keep…

…and I’m here to make sure you keep mo!

But I need to be very careful, so I spend my most precious resource, my time, in helping the “good” people. You know the type I mean. The one’s who know what integrity is and make it part of who they are.

A person such as yourself that needs; appreciates; flourishes; and is better off for having walked into my office.

As you know, my office is an experience all on its own! ☺

So it is extremely important not only to deal with the “best” clients, but also to filter out the “not so best”.

You know them…the unhappy pessimistic bunch, the bully gang, the world owes me types, the life’s not fair crowd, the something for nothing branch, the I’m right and the rest of the world is nuts philosophers, the low self-esteem class, the universe of lack vs infinite plenty set, the put people down to make themselves feel better gagglers, the ones “gaming” the system who think those that work hard and help others are “suckers” group. If you think about it, the only person they are hurting, is themselves. It’s like:

“Drinking poison & waiting for the OTHER person to die.”

That said…it is EXACTLY why…

…my practice is strictly referrals only…
NO EXCEPTIONS!

I believe that “birds of a feather flock together”.
You hang out with people like you.
The “complainers” and “system gamers” are hangin out in there own little cliques.

I’m thinking they need some serious de-ignorizing…
but I ain’t got the energy, the inclination nor the time!

So YOU hold the ultimate power over who gets to see me and who does not.
And that ain’t no accident. YOU are my filter. My Practice was engineered around YOU! ☺

My Tax philosophy is simple…“Pigs get fat …Hogs get slaughtered”

But, you have to know when you need to be aggressive and take what is rightfully yours.
For those in the know, it is clear that doing your own taxes, unless very simple is like statistical roulette.
The Big money is not in what you fill in, but rather in what you leave out!
I do not seek. I find. And in my world there are no problems, only solutions!

“You should only deal with the cheque writers and decision makers”

I prepare ALL the returns personally. Not review each one but prepare each one!
I’m thinking that is what you are paying for. Another reason for ‘strict referral only’.
Getting what you pay for Hmm… novel concept eh? ☺

So you get a “Registered” letter from the “Tax Man”…

…and as you peek inside …even before you catch a glimpse of your SIN# … the word “AUDIT” makes
you gasp for oxygen and the hairs stand up on the back of your neck … you knew from the envelope…
this was no love letter!
As you start to read the letter, you realize, you don’t speak “Tax Man” language.
You’re not really sure what “Tax Man” wants, but you know it ain’t good.

You cannot cash tax refund cheques…from Jail!

When your heart stops racing and you stop hyperventilating, clarity takes over.

You then remember ….WHY you handed over your tax information and paid the price to see the “Tax
Sniper”!

A tiny smile starts to take over when you think of the “system gamers” who would never pay for expertise
but keep movin that push cart to nowhere.

It was not a tax return you paid for;
it was a financial insurance policy that starts to pay dividends as soon as you fax that letter to my office.

And it doesn’t stop there. Not even close! If I cannot give you massive value back, compared to the
‘dollah’s’ you pay me … I will not take you on as a client.
I did not build up a “Premier members only” practice by going after the “quick buck”.
I’m looking to give those who make the grade, “lifetime” value.

“When all else fails… I don’t!”

“Came for the 20 yrs of Tax experience …
Stayed for the 365 days of Business & Financial advice”

If you’re gonna be a member of this club and step into my office, you bettah…

Elevate your expectations…cause the best is yet to come!

This is not about punchin in numbers on a tax return… this is about:

• Being your financial insurance against attacks by the “Tax Man”! I am YOUR representative
  …you just fax those lettah’s
• Making the after-tax financial choices crystal clear so you only have to deal with the emotional
  part of a marriage break-up
• Being tapped into a “huge” financial network … if I don’t have the answer, I know who does.
• Getting “game winning” advice on those “crucial” financial dilemma’s whether it be:
• The angst of retirement choices
• Absolutely bar none great business advice if you’re in or going into business & want to increase
  revenue. Do you know how many ways there are to increase revenue? You should!
• Handling ball buster negotiations without a blink in a kill or die corporate environment
  
• “Really” winning in the game of real estate from someone who knows the rules;

When it comes to protecting your money…
the “Tax Sniper” has your back

Getting or refinancing a mortgage?
Imagine the “relationship leverage” I have established over 25 yrs that you have access to! Ya think I
might know who can procure the real ‘best rate’ for you especially in difficult situations?
This potential BIG savings, is just part of the service value package you get fo yo money. NO COST to
you, cause my aim is to deliver more. So call me and TAP IN my friend cause…

REAL Vikings… don’t leave any flesh on the bones!

My Newsletter which is published on my own relaxed, free-floating schedule (44 and counting to date)
is NOT published on my website or anywhere else for that matter.
It is for my clients and friends only. You cannot buy your way onto that list. You must be invited.
If you’re not getting it, E mail me & "Get inspired”.

www.pigs-get-fat.com

“Almost everything that limits personal income is manufactured internally.”

MY FEE unlike hookers and lawyers who get money upfront…IS due when you sign your return…but G-d help you if Joanne has to chase you down like a mangy dog cause you forgot your money on signing day…

…thanks evah so much!

When the “Tax Man” cometh a callin … …you want to avoid sweatin like a hooker in a basement tenement with an impotent old geezer…so...

For a stress free tax time get me your tax stuff in Feb or early March!

“What worries you, masters you” –John Locke

Like our great Canadian Olympic Athletes ..ya wanna be “Owning that Tax Podium”! If I have prepared your return in the past, you have the option of getting all your information together and just dropping it off at my office without worrying about booking an appointment.

This is not an option for new clients!

New clients and those that need to see me, must book an appointment! You should first try and book by E mail. Just suggest 3 or 4 convenient times and dates and I will get back to you within 24 hours with a confirmation.
Keep in mind; you have a better chance at an afternoon or evening (till 8 PM or so) appointment.

You can also book your appointment by calling my executive assistant Joanne at Ext – 29

If you are required to make a tax appointment they will start the last week of February.

Coppers

Very important that you complete the Copper Worksheet with paid duty & court appearance
information, before I can begin working on your return. You can print out this form from my web site.
Also be sure to bring a signed T2200 and paid duty printout.

Put your business card in the tax package you’re dropping off for the 2009 Copper Draw…
…and check the web site for the 25 Lucky 2008 winners; could be you!

Everything you want and nothing you don’t! Other “Stuff” to drop off

Notice of Assessment – from your 2008 return and if you are a new client, please bring a working copy
of your 2008 return

Self-employed income – Go to my web site and printout the S2125 and complete as much as possible.

DO NOT send me your auto repair bills; gas receipts; court cards, laundry receipts, 26 Tim Horton slips; ’Happy Ending 2 dollah’ massage chits or other expenses you think are deductible.
DO give me the totals of what you think are applicable expenses. . I am not here to audit your stuff. I am here to represent you. I am on YOUR side! If it is not reasonable or deductible, I will not include it!

Other “Stuff’s” to include - RRSP contributions, childcare expenses (signed receipts with SIN # from your caregivers), donations, medical expenses, tuition T2202A and charitable donations.
Please total all receipts! This will provide a check for me if something is missing.

“First things first…
Second things not at all”

When you come to sign...very important!

When your return is completed and checked, my executive assistant, Joanne will call you to book your very own signing appointment. I’m warning you now, she is “hardcore ”! She has to first, get a hold of you and then schedule many hundreds of appointments in less then 60 days. So unless the Black Plague or in rare circumstances Malaria has hit your entire family, you're not gonna want to call her & change your appointment! Now, she understands that sometimes ‘sh-t’ happens.
But if she gives you a call back number of 1-800-kiss-myass, it’s usually not a good sign and I’m thinkin I’ll see you in May…. Sometime.…maybe.

Again…If you need to get in touch with me during tax time use E mail or call Joanne XT-29

The RRSP deadline is Monday March 1, 2010

Let’s talk,…just you and me … one on one… for a moment…K?

So your lookin at your RRSP balance over the last few years and thinking,
“what’s the sense in contributing?”
You put in each year and instead of increasing in value, it’s dropping like a ‘bride’s nightie” on show time
wedding nite!

Your scared to open your monthly statements cause ya know it’s just gonna ruin your day and the only timeyou can get a call back from your ‘financial advisor’, is during RRSP season.
What the heck are they all doing the other 11 months?
Spending the “feebezzling” (Charlie Munger term) pool of money while frolicking on some Island while your retirement fund sinks into the abyss?

And after all, your just gonna have to pay tax on it when you take it out down the road.
If there is any left to pay tax on!

So maybe you ‘should’ just put the money toward your mortgage.

OK … for what it’s worth, my thoughts on the above.

Firstly, there are 2 distinct actions going on here.
The #1 is the contribution…the #2 is where your money is being invested.
If your nest egg is approaching zero, you need to have a re-look at #2.

“Investing is something we do all day everyday
by definition of not being able to stop time”

If your investor is making a fortune on commissions and trailer fees… who cares as long as your pool of
investments are increasing in value.

But if it aint, you need to take that ‘financial advisor’ and put his feet to the fire!

“The market is there to serve you…not instruct you”

As Warren Buffet said:

“I try to buy stock in businesses that are so wonderful that an idiot can run them…
…because sooner or later, one will.”

As far as #1… the contribution is concerned, the “Tax Man” is gonna give you back 30, 40 or 50% of
that money depending on your tax bracket!
In case you have not noticed, we are currently in a 2% rate of return world right now.
And “Tax Man” is gonna give you WHAT?!

“If you’re not focusing, you’re playing small”

You want to pay off your mortgage instead?
What is the interest rate you’re paying on it? Perhaps 5% or so?
But you would give up a 30 to 50% return?

And if you pay off your home 5 years earlier, how is that gonna change your lifestyle?

“Truth is like the sun, U can shut it out for a little while…
but it ain’t goin away anytime soon”

So you have to pay tax on that money when you retire in 20 years.
That is 20 years from now!!

Could you possibly be making less at retirement so the taxes are actually lower?
Ya think a dollah then is worth the same as it is now with the “time value of money”?

Personally I think this is a no brainer!

Why is the “Tax Man” given us this big break, as the money is for OUR retirement?
What if they cancel this whole “freebie” soon?
I say …

when the “Tax Man” offers you free money…
it is impolite not to accept!

Nothing changes…on New Years Day…
some of the not SO big 2009 Federal Tax Changes

Have you heard of the Home Renovation Expense? Like Halloo?! OMG how many commercials have been made on this one tax benefit? About a Gazillion million I think was the last count!

WELL. you will be happy to know there are 2 other “home related” tax changes which you may not be as
familiar with. That’s 3 out of 4 2009 tax changes I am going to point out that relate to residence purchases.
Hmmm…maybe time to think about buying a personal residence if you have not yet?

If you are a first time home buyer, make sure you get “schooled” on HOW NOT to purchase real estate.
I have been there many times and provide you with yet ANOTHER client value added service for your hard
earned ‘dollah’. All ya gotta do is ASK!!

1. Home Renovation Expense – You DO NOT send in your receipts. Let me repeat to be
perfectly clear KEEP YOUR RECEIPTS! They ARE NOT REQUIRED to be filed with your tax
return..
BUT… I DO NEED the following information to complete SCH 12 and get you this credit:

a) date on sales slip or contract
b) name and GST# (if applicable) of supplier/contractor
c) description of expense and
d) amount paid ‘including’ taxes.

2. Home Buyer’s Amount – Not so many commercials on this one eh? You be wondering ‘what is
this?” Well basically this is a $5000 credit for 1st time home buyers of principal residences, purchased after January 27, 2009. IF you are entitled to the disability amount or for the benefit of a related disabled person, you may not even have to be a “1st time home buyer”. If you are a 1st time home buyer after January 27th 2009, tell me and supply me with the acquisition date!

3. Home Buyer’s Plan (HBP ) – OK so this is not new your saying but … the maximum you can
withdraw from an RRSP under the HBP has increased to $25,000! Again, if you are a 1st time home buyer you MUST talk to me as there is a strategy here and rules to follow. I do not want to see you cry like a baby when you miss out on this one! So call me when you even dream you “might” be buying a home sometime in the future. You will be glad you did and I am running out of Kleenex’s!!

“It’s not what you are, that holds you back,
It’s what you think you are not.”
Dennis Waitley

4. Increase in Personal Credits – You will notice that the last three ‘2009 Tax Changes’ started with
‘Home’. So I wanted to mix it up a little here cause not everyone owns a home. But did I mention that
owning a home it should be a goal of yours?!
In this particular 2009 Tax Change, the Basic personal amount; Spouse or common-law partner amount and Amount for Eligible dependant maximum credit has increased to $10,320

Well thar ya go … the ‘not too big’ but ‘not to be missed’ tax changes for 2009.

☺

End of Tax Season Party
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful! – Mae West!

On Friday April 30th 2010 we will again have our host of characters at the same new and improved location:

Montecassino Hotel – Salon DE… located
at 3710 Chesswood Dr ..just N of Sheppard S of Chesswood Arena

That is on the west side opposite Mayfair.. The fun will begin at 9:00 AM and go till 8:00 PM.
So come join us for a breakfast of fresh bagels and all kinds of assorted food stuffs.
As in past years, expect to get your caricature done (Bob Sherwood we love you man!) a relaxing massage (Elyse you're TOO good baby!) REAL magic from the one and only “Baldini” and mo!.

Did I mention the sweetest four letter word to the ears of any self respecting copper …

FREE!!!!

I look forward to seeing you all soon…in the meantime, be positive, be excited, be
happy, be grateful!
More latah…Thanks Evah so much…take care of you!

Whooo Haaaa some space! How bout some quotes?!

“There is no re-run when your livin in the ‘now’ ”

“Business is not fair, don’t expect it to be
and this is where all the advantage flows from.”

“Life is not the way it’s suppose to be; It’s the way it is.”

“When you put lipstick on a Pig…it’s still a Pig”

"Success is not about what you make - it’s about what you keep.”

“You never lose an opportunity – it just goes to someone else.”

“What got you here, won’t get you there.”

“Love what you do, then sell the love.”

"For those who understand, no explanation is necessary;
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.”

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